Do I want to remember this?

I had wanted this to be a journal of what happens during this year, but so far I have wanted to forget a good deal of it. It seems as though I am daily dealing with issues with this rotten house and the limitations Mark's broken leg imposes on our lives. I don't much like myself or my attitude and haven't wanted to write long posts about my miserable self.

On the bright side, Matthew seems to be very happy here and is enjoying school greatly. Max likes it too.

Photographs and Memories

Last week the woman who was key to my survival through junior high/high school sent me a birthday card. She enclosed an incredible gift: pictures from when we were girls. Some memories were clear, some were fuzzy, and some completely eluded me.

I like connecting the old to the new, the young to the old, and the past with the present. I think that's one reason I like being back in Tucson. The streets are familiar, the mountains have scarcely changed, but Tucson has also grown quite a bit and some parts are barely recognizable. So, what about me? Am I familiar -- scarcely changed -- barely recognizable?

Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut. Going to the same stylist who cut my hair 11 years ago. I'm betting he'll say I look exactly the same, but that won't be true. I look 11 years older, but am easily recognizable to anyone who's known me since high school. I wonder if I'm the same on the inside too? Couldn't I please, please be a wiser version of myself …

Getting tired of the scooter tour

Tomorrow we go back to Mark's orthopedist. I'm ready for the scooter tour to be over and am so hoping that the doctor will see bone growth and give Mark the okay to begin weight bearing. I pray that I will have the grace to accept no 'new' news.

Psalms 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope.

Old? friends

Tonight we had dinner with some dear friends. Our families spent a fair amount of time together when we lived in Tucson from 1994-1999. How is it that our children have gotten older but we seem exactly the same?

The wisdom of Katie Scarlett

Last night Gwen called Mark a little frantic about a class and how much work she had to do. Earlier in the afternoon when I'd talked to her, I'd told her that the syllabus showed assignments for the entire semester, not for the week and that she could do the work if she took it a class at a time. Mark calmly talked to Gwen about her assignments, college life in general, and closed with the advice to go to bed and think about things in the morning. I've felt a little overwhelmed myself this past week and tonight I am taking Mark's advice to heart. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. So tonight I'll go to bed knowing that "[t]omorrow I'll think of some way … after all, tomorrow is another day."

Sun Tran

Sun Tran is the name of Tucson's bus service. Today I thought I should be working for them. I drove Matthew to school, ran a couple of Matthew-related errands, and then went to my next stop. My route went north to an old (I mean high-school) friend's house. I took her to her doctor's office and then back to her house. I got her settled in and quickly got back in my bus to drive home (via the gas station, naturally) so I could -- yes, that's right -- DRIVE Mark to the University. Now I'm back at home (having picked up Matthew) with a few hours until I make my last pick up for the day.

It's quite a glamorous life I lead!

Lately I'd been appreciating the mild temps; running errands in 95º temps wasn't too bad. But I did notice when I drove home just now that the temp was up to 102º! Good thing the bus is air conditioned!

Non-philosophical musings

Despite being married to a philosopher, I rarely quote philosophers. But today I will because I think Jean-Paul Sartre's translated quote "Hell is other people" is missing the mark. I would have to say that hell is other people's stuff.

In 2007/08, Mark was a visiting professor at UNC-Chapel Hill. We found a furnished house to rent in a family/dog-friendly neighborhood. Yes, it was furnished so I did expect furniture and kitchenware. But there was also an abundance of left-behind books, CDs, and outgrown toys. I did have closet space and was able to unpack our things, but was aware that I was living with other people's stuff and that it was stuff they didn't want. When we went back to Athens that summer, I cleaned out our unwanted stuff and donated it.

Forward to this year. Mark is on sabbatical with The Freedom Institute (or something like that) at the University of Arizona. Once again we're renting a furnished house. But this house isn't merely furnished; it's stuffed to overflowing with things. Things like expired medication, five opened containers of Italian bread crumbs, countless opened boxes/packages of pasta and rice, 60+ pairs of shoes; I could go on and on. There isn't a drawer, corner, or closet that isn't packed completely. Where do I put the things we brought for this year? How can I unpack when there is barely room to get my boxes in the house? I also have to remember to keep a path clear so Mark can get through. And, naturally, the garage isn't any better.

So here's what I can say about the house: I like the location. I like the view of the Catalina Mountains from the front room. I like living with my husband and son. And, although I miss Gwen mightily, I'm glad she's not here to be packed into a place that in my mind is user-unfriendly.

Oh, and for my two followers who know me: I had to throw out many, many opened packages of Trader Joe's chocolate because I had no idea how old it was! Tragic!